Note: I lost the original blog I created around this topic. It was probably more funny than this, but we here at Today Crumbles Away don't let things like that bother us. There are trends to discuss! So onwards, upwards, and outwards, as we discuss: FAT BABIES.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/big_baby
Short note: I use yahoo a lot to check out news. I use other news sources, like google, the local newspaper in Marquette (where I live) and heresy. So you will be seeing involutary plugs for sites that have no other purposes to me. Go team!
Anyways, this news item is interesting. A fat baby was born in Russia weighing in at 17 pounds. Interesting, very interesting, that it was born in Russia, but the article mostly ignores that, focusing mostly on "yeah that baby's okay" and "did you know the fattest baby ever born was 23 pounds and 11 ounces?" I didn't know that! I also didn't know it died less than 11 hours later. I feel sorry for his poor mother. Not only does she have to stretch her privates parts out far beyond human comprehension so his disgustingly fat head and body can squeeze through, he doesn't even have the human decency to exist for longer than 11 hours! What an ingrateful wench! Kids these days.
New Trend On The Rise: Insulting and stupid opinions.
Why is this story worth covering? 17 pounds is pretty big, but not that unusual: my father weighed in at a whopping 12 pounds when he was born, and he wasn't in the national news. Did he become famous for anything at all?! Of course not. And this little fat baby only weighs five pounds less than he does. There has to be more to this story than meets the eye.
Again, I apologize for the ranting and raving done in this post. It's just as bad as the last post, but I promise I'll only rant about fat babies this time.
Old Trend On The Rise: Broken promises and stupid rants about meaningless subjects.
I think that the fact that this baby was born in Russia is very telling. "Greggary," you might say, "Russia hasn't really been an enemy of ours in some time!" Well, not since little Boris Yeltsin drove his tank through town, drunk on Vodka, and accidentially creating Democracy in Russia, toppling the great Russian communist state that existed only about 70 years. Sure, Democracy in Russia lasted about fifteen minutes before corrupt and stupid oligarchies took over, but the cold war has been over for awhile, I suppose I imagine you screaming. Well you're wrong, you stupid idiot!
New Trend On The Rise: Insulting your audience.
This post isn't as funny or as well written as the one I lost. So be it.
Basically, here's the deal: Russia is still upset that they "lost" the "war" and are looking for ways to start it back up again. Nuclear missles that were once considered a huge threat are now considered passe and played out. Sure, Russia has a ton of those things lying around, but so does America!
Trends On The Wane: Nuclear weapons and warfare.
The only people who like nuclear weapons any more are third world countries but then it's more of a "keeping up with the joneses" type thing. We have nuclear weapons: they want them. It's kind of like your little brother listening to Led Zeppelin to impress you when you've already moved onto listening to King Crimson and Captain Beefheart. In other words, it's awkward but cute.
No, the new wave of warfare will be a legion of fat babies bred in Russia and elsewhere. Think about it man! Who would see it coming? We start out with fat babies at 17 pounds: soon, we're at fat babies of 200, 300 pounds! Imagine the strange wave of terror that would overtake a nation as a wave of fat babies rushed through our streets! The reactions would be various: it might start as "oh my god, that baby is fat, the poor thing" then moving onto "but you know, it's cute, in a John Goodman sort of way" to "oh my god, that baby has a gun and is taking over America!" Pretty soon we'll all be goosestepping all over the country and zeig heiling till our brains are mush! And yes, I know that's Nazi imagery, and makes little sense when applied to a Russian takeover, but it's powerful damn it! Leave me be!
Old Trend On The Rise: Baseless and rambling paranoia.
There is only one thing we as Americans can do: if you hear of neighbors, friends, family members (even your own spouse) having a fat baby, you simply have to do the following: slaughter the mother and the father in their sleep, and cut off the head of the fat baby and search it's brain for the robotic mind control devices. For our purposes, a fat baby should be any baby over 7 pounds or more. That article stated that the average baby is 7 pounds, and by god, anything over that is obviously a terrorist plot! They start out small, like I mentioned earlier, and in America, a 9 pound baby can be considered a fat baby. No court in America will find you guilty once this post gets out: you'll be an American hero!
Old Trend On The Rise: Advocating Violence.
Okay, that's enough on fat babies. You all know what to do. I'll be back next time for shoe shopping tips!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Nature of War
Today many times wars will involve both ideology and political maneuvering. The current Iraqi War can be seen as this. As much as I believe religion has corrupted the Middle East and made it a threat to everyone, I'm hard pressed to support to the tactics used by the Bush administration.
When the war started in 2003, people like Bill Maher were against it but also conflicted. Maher said he was 60/40 against it. As a critic of Islam in the Middle East himself, he said he understood what the Bush administration was trying to do. Then he took that a step further by saying if the United States was going into war, he was going to hope they would win. Many on the left condemned the war from the beginning and refused to take sides. The action itself was too wrong to support.
Now the war is pretty much lost and Maher is as boistorous as anyone about how wrong the United States is for its everyday actions. Other leftists who supported the war originally are not as easy to take exception to what Bush has done. They continue to hope for some positives and remember what leaving Vietnam did to that country after the Vietnam War.
I'm mixed. There is little about the war that has been positive but it was necessary to deal with the problems. The actions of terrorism hasn't been just a simple reaction to our foreign policy. As their religion states, they believe they should take control of the world. Even if we kept our troops and interests out of their land, we'd still be the Great Satan and their target.
I believe in the ideological battle as one did against facism and communism. I'm just coming to terms that war may not have been the best offense.
When the war started in 2003, people like Bill Maher were against it but also conflicted. Maher said he was 60/40 against it. As a critic of Islam in the Middle East himself, he said he understood what the Bush administration was trying to do. Then he took that a step further by saying if the United States was going into war, he was going to hope they would win. Many on the left condemned the war from the beginning and refused to take sides. The action itself was too wrong to support.
Now the war is pretty much lost and Maher is as boistorous as anyone about how wrong the United States is for its everyday actions. Other leftists who supported the war originally are not as easy to take exception to what Bush has done. They continue to hope for some positives and remember what leaving Vietnam did to that country after the Vietnam War.
I'm mixed. There is little about the war that has been positive but it was necessary to deal with the problems. The actions of terrorism hasn't been just a simple reaction to our foreign policy. As their religion states, they believe they should take control of the world. Even if we kept our troops and interests out of their land, we'd still be the Great Satan and their target.
I believe in the ideological battle as one did against facism and communism. I'm just coming to terms that war may not have been the best offense.
Hendrix is still god
In my opinion no single guitarist has influenced the art more then Jimi Hendrix. Under the blanket of pop culture that includes legions of fans and followers is the music and the voice which transcends social boundaries and the generation divide. Case in point: when over 1500 guitarist play your song (hey Joe), thousands of miles away in a country generally not known for its music, Poland, you know you've done something right. Three generations have experienced the Hendrix sound. His image is portrayed on posters and T-shirts. And of course who could forget his White, left-handed Fender American Strat, and the Wah-Wah pedal.
A wave of artists have developed their sound through his influence; Stevie Ray Vaughn, Yngwie Malmsteen, John Mayer and countless others. Songs like Little Wing and Hey Joe will surely stand as all time greats. Moreover his performances at Montreux, and Woodstock 69' will undoubtedly remain legendary.
Hendrix's skill on his instrument occupies a unique and special niche in history. Many will undoubtedly rise out of his shadow of influence to occupy their own place in history. More power to them, let them not forget their roots however.
A wave of artists have developed their sound through his influence; Stevie Ray Vaughn, Yngwie Malmsteen, John Mayer and countless others. Songs like Little Wing and Hey Joe will surely stand as all time greats. Moreover his performances at Montreux, and Woodstock 69' will undoubtedly remain legendary.
Hendrix's skill on his instrument occupies a unique and special niche in history. Many will undoubtedly rise out of his shadow of influence to occupy their own place in history. More power to them, let them not forget their roots however.
Friday, September 28, 2007
The Secret of Criticism
I practice film criticism but I am nowhere near an expert in the field. To some people, when I have a criticism against a film their first thought is whether I ripped that idea off from someone else. Even I think it when someone tells me a long winded reason why they liked or disliked something and their reasons looked like it went beyond their usual realm of knowledge.
Yes, many people really just do just plagiarize their ideas from other people. I do too but in a different way.
Whenever I write about something, I am always borrowing from other writers and critics. What I am not doing is specifically taking ideas about one film and using them as my own for that same film, but taking ideas and thoughts about other films and extending them to a new film where that thought hasn't been applied. When a Jazz musician predicates himself on composition and improvization and is asked how much of his music is improvised, he almost always wants to say none. Improvization isn't a simple making things up on the spot. It's a mechanism in which to use years of experience to approach a new piece. The strength of my criticism depends on my experience and knowledge of other writings. That will allow me greater abilities to challenge with new thoughts.
I say "new thoughts" for a reason. The best part about writing criticism is that you'll start with certain ideas but the creative process of writing it will allow new ideas to grow. These new ideas may or may not change my previous stances. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. I just know I've written 80% of a review once only to find my thought process evolved to allow a new idea change everything I wrote. The only choice I had was to start over.
Yes, many people really just do just plagiarize their ideas from other people. I do too but in a different way.
Whenever I write about something, I am always borrowing from other writers and critics. What I am not doing is specifically taking ideas about one film and using them as my own for that same film, but taking ideas and thoughts about other films and extending them to a new film where that thought hasn't been applied. When a Jazz musician predicates himself on composition and improvization and is asked how much of his music is improvised, he almost always wants to say none. Improvization isn't a simple making things up on the spot. It's a mechanism in which to use years of experience to approach a new piece. The strength of my criticism depends on my experience and knowledge of other writings. That will allow me greater abilities to challenge with new thoughts.
I say "new thoughts" for a reason. The best part about writing criticism is that you'll start with certain ideas but the creative process of writing it will allow new ideas to grow. These new ideas may or may not change my previous stances. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. I just know I've written 80% of a review once only to find my thought process evolved to allow a new idea change everything I wrote. The only choice I had was to start over.
And what might you ask is a TREND MONGER?
Well a TREND MONGER is a person, who dreams up a trend, like"THE TWIST", or "FLOWER POWER." And spreads it throughout the land using all the frighteninglittle skills that scientists made available. I am a trendmonger. From upon my pedestal I shall tell you what to believe, who to care about, and what to belive. I will comment on the latest news and trends of the AMERICAN way of life. I will create new trends that I believe should be followed by the small minded, the big minded, the big boned, and those with huge boners. Scratch that last one: huge boners are definitely OUT!
New trend: answering the phone with no clothes on. Without a huge boner.
News: It appears that the republicans are trying to end the war in Iraq. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070928/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/us_iraq Interesting. I am not the most politically savvy person in the world, but I find it interesting that the republicunts are trying to end the war here, instead of the dumbocrats. Here's my prophecy: war is definitely GOING OUT, so the republicans might be COMING IN by positioning themselves with the anti-war movement which is picking up steam. After many silly failures involving homosexual senators sucking cock in a men's bathroom (well, roughly) and many other failures, they finally GET THE POINT and latch onto the anti-war movement, which the dumbocrats latched onto awhile ago. Honestly, I don't have the greatest mind for politics. So I say: nuke Russia!
New trend: people who shouldn't comment on politics will continue to do so.
And now I'll end this blog with a comment on what I think is going out of style: democracy in Myanmar. Honestly, I have never heard of this country but apparently a lot of abuse has been going on there, when people protested for democracy. I think that once a government begins shooting on it's own people who are protesting for democracy, there is but a short time before they close down. But then again, China is still running. So I'm going to have to say democracy in Myanmar is going OUT OF STYLE.
Tune in next time for a less politically orientated post.
New trend: answering the phone with no clothes on. Without a huge boner.
News: It appears that the republicans are trying to end the war in Iraq. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070928/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/us_iraq Interesting. I am not the most politically savvy person in the world, but I find it interesting that the republicunts are trying to end the war here, instead of the dumbocrats. Here's my prophecy: war is definitely GOING OUT, so the republicans might be COMING IN by positioning themselves with the anti-war movement which is picking up steam. After many silly failures involving homosexual senators sucking cock in a men's bathroom (well, roughly) and many other failures, they finally GET THE POINT and latch onto the anti-war movement, which the dumbocrats latched onto awhile ago. Honestly, I don't have the greatest mind for politics. So I say: nuke Russia!
New trend: people who shouldn't comment on politics will continue to do so.
And now I'll end this blog with a comment on what I think is going out of style: democracy in Myanmar. Honestly, I have never heard of this country but apparently a lot of abuse has been going on there, when people protested for democracy. I think that once a government begins shooting on it's own people who are protesting for democracy, there is but a short time before they close down. But then again, China is still running. So I'm going to have to say democracy in Myanmar is going OUT OF STYLE.
Tune in next time for a less politically orientated post.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Squib about the stock market
The Dow Jones closed at 13,965 today which is 7 points higher then at the opening.
NASDAQ closed at 2,110.75 a gain of 1.25.
Finally the S&P 1,536.90 a gain of .70.
Looks like y'all holding Apple stock have somethin to smile about as it's value increased by about 12 dollars over the past 5 days.
NASDAQ closed at 2,110.75 a gain of 1.25.
Finally the S&P 1,536.90 a gain of .70.
Looks like y'all holding Apple stock have somethin to smile about as it's value increased by about 12 dollars over the past 5 days.
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